Dave's Web of Lies

Our tenth guest liar was

Mr Dave Kenning

an unemployed career consultant from Tierra del Fuego.

Zorba the Greek was, in fact, Swedish.

Actress Andie Mac Dowell is banned under EC directive 16738/-3E (1983), restricting use of certain food colouring agents.

Lemons are born purple but pygmy lemon-grove dwellers paint them yellow to please their wives.

Sparrows are unable to fly. They cleverly mimic flight by hanging on to strings attached to albatrosses and flapping their otherwise useless wings.

According to new research by nutritionists, the four major food groups are cheese, gin, chocolate and McVitie's Jaffa Cakes.

The bubbles in champagne are painstakingly hand-painted by Trappist monks.

TV super-chefs Gary Rhodes and Rick Stein are mortal enemies since an incident in 1975 involving a pineapple.

Stork margarine is, despite its name, made from budgerigars.

The three-toed sloth, previously thought to be the slowest creature on earth, in fact oscillates at ultra-high frequencies, undetectable to the naked human eye, making it in truth the fastest creature on earth.

Former Prime Minister John Major is made entirely of balsa wood.

Swedish superbabe Ulrika Jonsson has an honorary doctorate in bullfighting from the University of Pamplona.

The Spice Girls have an aggregate IQ of over eight thousand, making them the brainiest per capita pop group in the world.

It is widely known that 'Gorgeous' George Clooney, star of Batman and ER, has two wooden legs, but not so well known that he also has a wooden head.

God's new web-site can be found at http://www.big.G.com/. The site, optimised for Netscape 3 with Shockwave plug-in, features a picture of God on a skate-board, words to his favourite songs, and some cool links.

"Pamplemousse", the French word for grapefruit, literally translates into English as "whore's buttock".

Actress Doris Day, real name Brian Chedlington, got the inspiration for her stage-name from Boris Bay on the west coast of Scotland.

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" says the ancient proverb, but new research by top Lebanese scientists has startlingly disproved this theory.

The boy's name Thomas is derived from the Middle English word `Thumlasse', meaning `he who has no thumbs'.

Guest Liar's Hall Of Fame

Mr Yan Pomplemeyer
Mr Rob Smith
Mr Frank Charlton
Sir Greg O'Beirne
Mr. Jo(e/seph) Reeves
Dr. Steve Greatbanks
Mr Paul Craggs
[email protected]
Mr Ade Ward
Mr Dave Kenning
Mr Colin McChesney