Dave's Web of Lies

Welcome to the Liars Podium

Mr Paul Craggs

with his specialised subject
`The Life and Times of Dudley Pagdet, budgerigar tamer ahead of his time'

Mr Craggs tells us that his favourite food is any fat and that he works as a test driver for McLaren,
the pram and push-chair manufactures of world renown.

News of a massive Fraud connected with 'anonymous' National Lottery winners broke this week.A Mr Herbert George Wells and an accomplice as yet named only as 'Dr Who?' by a police insider, are being quizzed by detectives from the Serious Fraud Office and League Against Lottery Cheaters in 1927 and 2010 respectively.

Oregano, the common herb on pizzas, is made from badgers and bits of Austin Sevens.

Two thirds of people who bought 'Batman Forever' on video now suffer from epilepsy following the infamous `Ketchup' scene.

98% of people questioned in a recent National survey believed Mao Tse Tung to be that dish you get with cashew nuts and an unidentifiable meat in it.

Rugby League rules specifically exclude molluscs from play.

The 1924 Vatican Ecumenical Sub-committee on Wombats, decreed that both cardboard milk cartons of the type manufactured by Tetra-Pac © and nail- scissors were miracles of biblical proportions. The same assembly ruled that Brylcreeme was the Devil's salad dressing.

Terry Christian, infamous TV presenter and part-time shoelace tester has not had a bath since 5th February 1973, when he found a dead yak in the tub of his Mosley home, triggering in him a permanent psychosis of all water borne, humped, grunting oxen.

"Throwing the baby out with the bath water" allegorical proverb or hard fact? An alarming recent study showed that 11% of families had done just that.

All bush-babies have the Christian name Bertram.

`A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush' is not so much a lie as an inaccuracy, currently a bird in the hand is actually worth a pig in poke.

Honda cars all contain a small amount of lard concealed in the door-skins.

The Spanish word `jerigonza' has no direct translation into English, the nearest meaning being `sweetly fluffy, with bits of string attached'.

Rubber comes from cows.

It is a common fallacy that a leopard can not change his spots. As long as he has the receipt and returns them unworn within fifteen days of purchase he is free to choose from a bewildering array of alternative patterns including diagonal flashes and paisley.

Uffculme, Devon, is a pivotal point for World Cheese Policy.

Guest Liar's Hall Of Fame

Mr Yan Pomplemeyer
Mr Rob Smith
Mr Frank Charlton
Sir Greg O'Beirne
Mr. Jo(e/seph) Reeves
Dr. Steve Greatbanks
Mr Paul Craggs
[email protected]
Mr Ade Ward
Mr Dave Kenning
Mr Colin McChesney