Parapsychologists
have
discovered
a
new
phenomenon
,
related
to
spontaneous
combustion
.
Called
"
planned
combustion
", it
differs
from its
spontaneous
cousin
it that it is
premeditated
, and
requires
the
presence
of some
form
of
accelerant
, such as kerosene or butane.
[email redacted]
[undated]