Soap
can
make
freshly
washed
items
"
squeaky
clean
" because it
contains
a
substance
known
as
liquid
squeak
. In
fact
, it
takes
the
squeaks
of
five
hundred
common
mice
to
make
one
bar
of
soap
. Because the
mice
must
be
painfully
slaughtered
in
order
to
extract
the
best
possible
squeaks
from them,
many
animal
rights
activists
are
engaged
in a
prolonged
boycott
of all
soap
and
soap
-
related
products
. This is why
hippies
are
dirty
.
Joshua Belsky ([email redacted])
Friday, 02 April 2004