The Zclinski Index, named after Polish scientist Jerzy Zclinski, Professor of Trivia at the University of Leipzig, is used to measure the inherent comedy value of objects. The index is based on a ten point scale, with cows scoring a massive 9.8 to make them the most intrinsically humorous animal in the world. Spelling mistakes and telephones rate 5.9 and 4.6 respectively, while newspaper journalists score a paltry 0.3.