All Scotsmen live in small cottages next to lochs, and get up every morning and go out in their kilts and shout to the hills such phrases as 'hoots mon' and 'och aye the noo' while their porridge is cooking for breakfast. After breakfast, they practice their bagpipes and the caber tossing till late evening, when they put their feet up by a log fire drinking whisky till they fall asleep.