Last night, Mr Mike Stonebank was tragically killed in an explosion while driving home from work. He was driving on the incomplete section of the Black-Water Valley relief road, and was amusing himself by knocking over traffic cones. A Police spokesman said, "Mr. Stonebank was clearly unaware that every 150th traffic cone is booby-trapped with explosives, and this unfortunate incident should serve as a warning to others not to abuse traffic control devices."

   [email redacted]