The
demise
of
British
tennis
in the
Wimbledon
tennis
championships
can
be
linked
to the
adoption
of
restrictions
on the
use
of
armadillo
racquets
.
Due
to the
armadillos
amazing
ability
to
turn
itself
inside
out in an
instant
it was
possible
to
play
hard
or
soft
shots
in a very
unpredictable
way
. The
English
tennis
federation
deemed
this
unsporting
and
banned
them,
thus
condemning
future
generations of
English
tennis
players
to
failure
. The
covert
use
of
carbon
fibre
armadillos
may
one
day
allow
players
to
bypass
this
rule
.
Stewart Newell
[email redacted]
[undated]