It is common knowledge that computer viruses can be spread across email, but few people are fully aware of the number of far more serious afflictions that can also be transmitted via the medium, including carpal tunnel syndrome, rickets, foot & mouth disease, cancer of the cervix, triakadekaphobia (fear of the number 13), emphysema, myxomatosis, halitosis, blindness, blind faith, eczema, ebola, poor taste, lighthousekeeper's eye, death, at least five different strains of hepatitis, three of the same strains of crows feet, overdependence, squinting, skin failure, loss of shoes, pregnancy, panic disorder, piles, paralysis from the waist up, shortness (especially of breath), small islands in the Outer Hebrides and Windows infestation.