A Vatican whistle-blower has revealed that as well as 'Cardinals' the Pope has a secret staff of 'Ordinals'. These prelates, whose robes are bright yellow with lime-green GT stripes, follow the Cardinals around and yell out 'Bullshit!' whenever the Cardinals speak. The position was originally created by Pope Ian XXXIV in 1131 to act as a check on the growing power of the College. Worryingly, there is an even larger and more secret staff of 'Decimals' whose job it is to systematically erase all evidence of the activities of the Ordinals from books, TV, radio, clay tablets and parchment scrolls, which is why the Ordinals were unknown until now. The Decimals were instituted in 1406 by the Papal Bull 'De Carborundum nil Desperando' of Pope Barry VII, on the grounds that the Ordinals were silly.