The real mastermind behind the September 11, 2001 attacks was none other than Carl Sagan, who together with his right-hand men in the conspiracy, Linus Pauling, Richard Feynmann and Graham Chapman, put the sinister workings of their plan in motion decades in advance, deceived the world with goodie-two-shoes cover identities, and then cleverly faked their deaths, leaving no one the wiser.