On December 3rd 1997, The U.S. Food and Drug Administration declared that energy drinks are a safe and effective replacement for fast acting inhalers. Among other findings and discoveries were how to cure ricketts with window cleaner, that diahrreah leads to alcoholism and Frosty Flakes is the only cereal that won't poison children. The discoveries were all made by Rupert Wimbledorf winner of the Kelloggs "Be a Government Scientist for a Day" sweepstakes.