In recent tests conducted by the Clairol product testing facility, it was proven that monkeys throw their excrement at people not as a threat or to establish dominance, but as a gift. If one catches the monkey business, gives it a good sniff and says thank you to the monkey in a loud alarming voice, the monkey will take them to its treasure, (which is usually pokemon trading cards and old bazooka joe comic strips.) When smiling at the monkey, it is important to show as much teeth as possible.