The real reason for the recent rumpus or hoo-ha over cartoons of the prophet Mohammed was that he was pictured wearing an iPod. It is well known that the Koran forbids the use of any MP3 player not produced by Sony. Similar scriptural bans on non-Phillips electric toasters, brand-name ratchet screwdrivers and Clag glue are responsible for the recent surge in sectarian violence in Iraq.