Hostess Twinkies are not actually baked. They are gathered from a hyper-dimensional warp portal that is opened inside the Hostess factory. When the Twinkies are removed from the portal they are hotter than the surface of the sun, and must be cooled with liquid nitrogen.

The British rose only grows in Poland and despite its name looks like a german daisy.

Vatican security forces still carry spears because the Catholic Church will not sanction the use of any weapons that were not mentioned in the New Testament. For similar reasons, Catholic priests may not eat chocolate pudding.

Doctor Matthew Sebastian of Hilderthorpe University, Perugia, has formulated the first recipe for an anti-matter chipatti.

NASA is secretly building a death star on the far side of the moon.

The Cheshire Cat is sueing the Mona Lisa for copyright infringement over her enigmatic smile.